File it away.

She looked around- dead, dead, dead- she was surrounded by it.  Blood stained her gloves, her hair was a mess, and her stethoscope was barely holding onto her neck.  If you asked her how she felt she would of responded good, kinda tired, maybe exhausted, but good.  Her response wouldn't include anything about what she had seen or how it was effecting her because on the outside it wasn't.  

She was so young- but she had already seen more than most people see in their entire life. It didn't phase her at all on the outside. And if you asked her, she was completely fine on the inside too.  How was she okay?

If you asked her she would have responded- I don't know.  I just separate it.  If you asked her how to separate it she wouldn't of been able to answer.  She just did. If she described it she would say it was like filing papers away but those papers were situations and emotions.  And the only reason she was able to file it away was because she had done everything she could...because she knew she had put everything she had, every ounce of energy into that person and she had no regrets.  I guess that's why she was okay, even though she probably shouldn't be.  But the world needs people like that, people who can be okay in bad situations, people who can separate the patients from the outcomes, people who can keep going.  And I guess she was one of those. And I guess that was a good thing.