just breathe.

A deep breath in.  I can feel my heart pumping; it slowly pushes blood through my veins.  The tingling sensation reminds me, at times like these, that I'm still alive.  A slow breath out.   But being alive never was as wonderful as when he held me so close, so close that I could his heart beating beneath his plaid shirt.  A deep breath in.  It was as if our two hearts could hear each other beating--they conversed in such a beautiful rhythm.  A slow breath out.  But now my heart feels heavy.  It is held by heartstrings that have been stretched to the point of breaking--it hangs low and presses up against my lungs.  A deep breath in.  What I want and what is right have become two very different things.  A slow breath out.  Is there anyway to make "us" work?  A deep breath in.  Patience feels like a death sentence, yet pursuit is practically suicide.  A slow breath out.  Is there anyway to keep my heart intact?  How am I supposed to make this work without shredding my heart to pieces? A deep breath in.  I can't.  A slow breath out.